Friday, February 8, 2008

Kevin considers Infectious Disease

Back in the glory days of medicine when old white men ran the show and nurses wore skirts and paper hats, medical research was pretty egotistical. Whenever someone discovered a genetic disorder, he would inevitably name said disorder after himself. Thus you have your well known diseases such as Alzheimer's, Huntington's, Tay-Sachs... the list goes on. Yet, even back then, no one wanted to name infectious diseases after himself. Dumb. Infectious diseases are the crazier, flashier, version of their more homely counterparts. The evidence is in the movies.  Infectious disease has given us adrenaline-pumping thrillers such as Outbreak, 28 Days Later, I Am Legend just to name a few.   Genetic disorders on the otherhand gives us Bubble Boy, a trainwreck I'm sure Jake Gyllenhal would like back.  



You decide

So that gets me thinking. Naming such diseases after the infectious agent is boring and predictable.  If I become an infectious disease specialist I will dedicate my life's work to finding the most dangerous virus/bug out there. But I wont name it something boring like Africanized AIDS (although that has promise). No, I will name it after myself. Why, you might ask. I'll tell you why. Imagine the headline possibilities.
AFRICA IN CHAOS AS KEVIN* RAGES ACROSS CONTINENT
Or maybe something more akin to the movie Outbreak:
CALIFORNIA UNDER MARTIAL LAW TO CONTAIN KEVIN*

"Oh my God his body is completely destroyed by Kevin*"

I'm pretty sure  that would cement my place in the medical as well as the history books.

*Obviously I would use my whole name to maximize my glory and minimize confusion, but for internet purposes, first name is enough.

No comments: